- Is it a bloated day? Nix the tucked pant and blouse look.
- Have you once again forgotten to shave your legs in the hasty morning shower? Adios skirts and dresses.
- Are your feet sore and tired? In your dreams, strappy heels and cute flats.
- Better yet, are you picking up extra hours, requiring a company-provided costume? Not to worry about looking attractive, as these swoon-worthy ensembles include flood length pants that double for both camel-toe and a tuck in bra, and, oh yes, contain zero sex appeal. Dreams come true!
To be simple. I have no idea what will make a good outfit. It can be anything. An accessory alone can make or break an ensemble, not to mention what an adorable top can do. I always wanted one of those closet organizers as seen in Clueless, which matches the perfect pieces together, but alas, that invention is stuck in the realm of fiction.
Though I can't say what makes an outfit a success, I can share some tips on what makes an outfit a flop. Here are the top ten examples of (sad but true) fashion faux pas witnessed in the building. Enjoy!
- Stirrup pants. With an aviator top. And ascot. A real lfe ascot.
- Red mini-skirt and black patten leather go-go boots.
- Matching polka dot print dress with perfectly patterned polka dot shoes.
- White tights. Not opaque or nude colored. White.
- It's five o'clock somewhere in a short sateen nightclub dress and knee high boots.
- Crocs. It does not matter what kind, whether ballet flat, original, or the boot style. They are still, and always will be, ugly shoes.
- It's not easy being green, especially with a lime green twin set and olive green knit pant combo.
- Flannel shirts-- great for camping, not for the workplace.
- Feathered hair. What happened in the eighties needs to stay in the eighties.
- Striped skirts mixed with dotted and bright shirts.
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Hopefully this will help with things to keep in mind your next bleary eyed morning.
What looks have you seen that should be added to an "OH NO!" list of outfits?
1.Crocs gross me out. If they must exist at all they belong only in a garden. I always think about how plastic water bottles heat up and BPA's get into your water. Sure they've supposedly fixed that, but I don't want no unnatural plastic byproducts entering my body by foot.
ReplyDelete2,White tights. Is it the Valentine's Day Party in your Kindergarten classroom? No? Oh. Then NO.
3.Plaid. Flannel. *shudder*. Leave me be, Paul Bunyon. Go chill with you only friend the giant blue ox. Ever wonder WHY she's your only friend? Hm. Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Okay, my addition: I cannot handle when people layer meant to be tank tops or scanty summery tops of the like with neck high t-shirts underneath. If you saw it and thought it was that inapropro, then DONT BUY IT. Buy the t and wear it, that's cool. Or just toss a spaghetti tank on underneath. Or wear it on its own when your not going somewhere you need to look professional. It's summer, people walk around in practically their undies at the beach. Bottom line: Do NOT combo.
PS true life: I really really want a feather in my hair. Proceed to hate me.
I love this!!!!!
ReplyDelete1 and 4: stirrup pants and WHITE tights. That's what I wore when I was 6 and going to the Girl Scout roller skating party.
Also, your 4 bullet points questions you ask in the morning are part of my daily routine, except take out the last one and put in: "Am I doing a messy craft today?" "Yes." "Ok, not wearing things that are dry clean only."
My word to type to make sure I am not a hacker was volare!!! Yeah Dean!
ReplyDelete...i recently bought white tights...i've worn them once. i had no idea they were out, haha.
ReplyDeletei also like plaid flannel.. not on me, but on certain people and in certain places, like a forest preserve, they work well enough.
crocs ARE gross. especially the ones with fur on the inside! yuck. i think nally is right in that they are only appropriate for the garden.
i'm not a fan of the crazy colored jeans that have been popping up. i saw yellow once. YELLOW. gahh. my sense of fashion could use a lot of work, but at least i know enough not to wear those.